I am starting to think positively again. But the past few weeks have been difficult, and the idea of packing two very young children around Europe suddenly seemed ludicrous. Of course there was the vomit and the diarrhea at 3 a.m. That didn't help my outlook.
A few weeks ago (the night before Mother's Day), Esme got sick. She was ill for a week, and just as things were getting back to normal, Emil got sick. Another week of fevers, throwing up and constant diarrhea (all very scary things when they are occurring in a 7-month-old). Somewhere in there, Jacob got sick and then I got sick, and it's been just one big illness fest.
When I thought forward to this month-long journey, my stomach clenched. Was I nuts to think this was possible? What if one or all of us were sick on the trip? How were we going to get on the Tube with Esme and Emil? What were we thinking? The echoes of people's shock upon hearing of our trip started reverberating around my head: "Wow. You're brave." Brave, or stupid?
But we've turned a page. Now both kids are healthy. Jacob is healthy. I'm at least on my way to healthy. We leave on Wednesday, and suddenly the fog is lifting. My emotions are switching from frightened and anxious (the bad kind of butterflies) to getting excited, daydreaming about streets that I once roamed and miss, as well as streets I've never seen before (the good kind of butterflies).
Maybe Esme and Emil won't remember any of this trip, but I believe they will be affected by it. They are little sponges right now. They are forming their fundamental understanding of how the world works, how people talk and interact, so exposing them to other cultures will only richen that core world view.
And then there is the ultimate truth of the matter: I need to travel for me, not for them. They are just too young to be away from me for that long, so they have to come along because I absolutely have to go. There's a reason I used to run a website called Travelfiend.com. Traveling fulfills something deep inside. It's a passion that helps make me who I am, and I can't quelch it.
I know that I have gone through some serious transitions since having children. There are times that I feel like my soul explodes with happiness, and other moments that my soul feels like it's lost touch with its passions. There is so much that is all about the children: growing them in the womb, feeding them, cleaning them, making their first experiences of this world as magical as possible, it is all very positive. But then there are those moments when I sit back and think, "I had other interests before having kids. What were those again?" And I wonder how the passions that used to define who I was were all pushed to the wayside, discarded like old clothes.
I'm trying not to lose my old passions. I rediscover them in the closet of my mind and pull them out to look at them in the sunlight. I hope you are all trying to hold onto your passions, too. It can be difficult sometimes, but it's doable. I think traipsing about London and Barcelona with two babes will be difficult at times, but overall it will be amazing. An experience that we will remember forever. Yes, I'm able to be optimistic again. Just please pray for me that none of us get sick.
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Oh, wow. I can identify with so much of what you're writing today. Maintaining time and money for ones own passions and interests, in the midst of parenting little ones, is so difficult. And of course parenting itself becomes a new passion, especially when you're doing it full time.
As for the travel stuff, although we haven't done much vacationing with the kids, we've done plenty of transatlantic flights. My keys to survival overall are to do with routine and attitude. I believe quite strongly in rhythm in my childrens' day (not obsessive schedules, more flexible but still a clear rhythmic pattern) and it is that which has enabled Imogen to travel well through different time zones. She knows when we take a walk, what happens after lunch or dinner, and as a result it doesn't phase her too much where she is when these things happen. I also always brought a balnket from home to make a bed smell secure. I keep a lavendar bag in each of my children's beds, so I bring that, too. It's amazing the difference it makes when I've forgotten it!
On planes I've found that for toddlers finger puppets are great toys, as well as Magnadoodles/ Etchasketch and books with flaps to lift. Fuzzy felt is enjoying a rennaissance in the UK at the moment, and I'll probably use that this summer. I always bring a big silk/scarf that I can use to create a little tent space for her to be in at her seat (it helps minimise distractions when she's going to sleep, too).
For a baby I would just wear a poncho and nurse as much as possible. As I mentioned to you, those water mats are a great on-flight baby toy. Dental floss is really useful for making mobiles out of rattles/toys hanging from overhead compartments, and no-one has ever asked me to take them down.
I, too, agree that although your children might not remember Gaudi's architecture from this trip, they will be made more versatile by the experience, and will grow up with an attitude of confident capability.
For the London tube in particular, there are maps of disabled access stops which have elevators (like Covent Garden). I try using those when possible, as I still find long escalators with two children to be a nauseating experience. I can't do the buggy-on-an-escalator trick yet, so it's never easy. A frame backpack is useful for toddlers in cities- they can see it all but are safely contained (but it's not an option when you've got a baby in a sling, too!)
We all get nervous about leaving our comfort zone and surroundings, but children feed off parents' anxiety levels, so the more easy going you are the easier your two will be. Oh, and jet-lag is always less when you head East, so you're in luck!
I can't wait to see you all. Our first visitors from SF arriving in little Nettleham. It'll be fantastic.
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