I'm too emotionally exhausted to craft a well-thought out entry today. I will simply say this: I give up.
Esme is in diapers again after a little over a week of wearing underwear. We had some great days that she avoided most accidents. Then there are days like today. First thing this morning, she announced that she didn't need to go potty cause she had already peed. Determined not to let it set the tone for the day, I had her sit on the potty every 15-30 minutes, and it was soon after one of these attempts that she pooped on the floor (she was going nakey-butt because - shock! - all her underwear were in the laundry).
I almost hit her. Her "accident" was so deliberate. Patience expired, I was angry. Then I decided maybe she just needed more attention, so we spent the morning on drawing and painting with water colors, taking regular trips to the bathroom (most resulting in nothing). Then we sat down to lunch and when I asked her if she needed to go potty, she looked sheepish. "I already did." Sure enough, there was a nasty, smooshed up, stinky poop that was going to be a bi_*& to clean out of her underwear.
I won't recount my response, because I'm not proud of it. Let's just say that Esme is back in diapers for the time being. I give up. She wins. And maybe this capitulation of mine shows what was wrong with the whole scenario: it was me against her and her against me. Who was going to control her body? The answer is that she is the only one who can control her body. When will we try out her underwear again? I don't know. I'm just trying not to be bitter about the ordeal, and praying that it doesn't cause a backlash, keeping her in diapers even longer.
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2 comments:
Oh Aeron. . . I guess I can only say good luck . . . maybe . . . just maybe. . . you could rebrand this blog . . . or simply start another one that can chronicle this saga. . . "The Daily Doo Doo" . . . "Crap! She did it again!" . . .
Oh crikey, you poor bugger! Hmm, well. Perhaps at this point she has to want to be clean and dry. You're right about it becoming a battle of control over her body. You are able to teach her something you know she'll be happier doing, but at the moment she doesn't know how much more comfortable she'll be.
I'm sorry it is turning into a battle of will-power, what a bloody nightmare. Other than try hard to shrug off accidents and reminding you that she won't be in nappies on her 21st, I can't think of anything useful to say. Good luck, and keep us informed!
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