It is rare that I feel absolutely incompetent as a parent. But I have to admit that this is how I'm feeling right now. This potty training effort has me at my wit's end. How long should it take to potty train a child? One person would say, clearly you're child isn't ready yet, and another would say, why aren't you doing this or that? All I can say is that I'm ready to pull my hair out and give my daughter away to the first person who'll take her.
Perhaps the problem is that she is stubborn, a trait she comes by most honestly given that both her her mother and father are incredibly stubborn. You see, she sits on the potty, then gets her diaper or underwear on and immediately pees or poops. She sometimes successfully in the potty, but there are other times that she just refuses. It has me ready to explode! I know I'm not supposed to get mad at her when she has an accident, but what about when I know it wasn't an accident but a decision she made to pee on the floor rather than on the potty? What do I do then? I can tell you, I lose my temper. I'm not proud of it. But I don't think taking it with equilibrium helps either.
Jacob and I have decided to get her in underwear full time (except for bedtime, when she can wear a cloth diaper) for three days to see if that will do the trick. That is what our good friend and nanny extraordinaire Kelly Anne suggested. So far, it's resulted in a frustrating morning with two pee accidents. The first time she peed, she said she forgot she was wearing underwear instead of a diaper. I told her that was okay and cleaned up after her, giving her loving support. The second time it happened, she was standing right next to the potty and told me that she chose to go in her underwear. What do I say to that? There are times it's hard not to curse in front of, or in this instance AT, my children. I didn't curse, and that was an achievement.
Just now, she finally pooped in the potty after holding it in all morning. Afterwards, I asked her, "Aren't you proud of yourself?" Her answer? "No."
I foresee a long and frustrating three days ahead of me.
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I hope it's not too cruel, but I didn't rush to swiftly change the child who wets themselves on purpose. I do think that a little discomfort is worth a lot in this lesson. Quite quickly she will be unhappy about sitting in wet undies or nappy, and will exercise a little self-control. You are doing this at the right time of year for (hopefully) most of her accidents being outside. Stay calm, if she wants a power struggle, don't give it to her. She's doing something unpleasant to herself, not you. (Other than making loads of wee-laundry).
Remember that she won't be able to hold it for very long, though, even when she's successfully dry, and will need lots of reminders. It takes time to build up those pelvic floor muscles!
Good luck!
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