Lately, Esme has had a supercharged imagination. We woke up in bed yesterday, and she immediately said, "Vroom Vroom! We're riding!" I asked her if the bed was a car, and she said yes. It was fun and playful, and I ran with it, humming "Vroom! Vroom!" right along with her before we both burst into giggles. But then there are the other times that she answers questions wrong, and we wonder what is going on in her imagination. Like on a Saturday, we asked Esme what she had done that day, and she said, "I went to Teacher Bow's house." Esme goes to Teacher Bow's house four days a week, but not on Saturday. She insists, though, that she was there. Is this a lie?
I've come across this issue twice recently in magazines, and both American Baby and Scholastic's Parent & Child make passing references to the fact that toddlers and preschoolers have trouble distinguishing reality from fantasy. This just blows my mind! So Esme may have pretended that she went to Teacher Bow's house that day, and can't tell the difference between pretend and reality? I don't know how they come up with this information, and unfortunately neither magazine cited their sources. Maybe it's just common knowledge in child development psychology? I'm always leery of "common knowledge." But the advice in these magazines is good. Basically, they say don't berate your kid for "lying" to you, but be glad that they are letting you into their fantasy world. When Esme comes up with her fantastical stories, I get a chance to see what's going on in that little noggin.
I have no way of knowing for sure, but I think Esme understands the difference between pretend and real. For example, she has these fake grapes. She asked if she could pick one, and I answered that they were pretend grapes so we can't really pick them. She looked at me and asked, "Can I pretend pick them?" And that's just what she did. Pretended to pick them. Maybe in her mind she will remember having actually picked them, but who's to say?
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
Dinner with the Cleavers, or, ahem, the Noe-Grottas
I almost hate saying it because it's so 1950ish, but I love sitting down at the table for dinner with my family. I was raised in more of a fend-for-yourself environment, and it wasn't until Jacob came into my life that I realized how nice family dinners can be.
When we sit down to dinner, we don't answer the telephone. We don't watch TV. Maybe we play a little Talking Heads or Jane's Addiction on the stereo, but that only adds to the atmosphere rather than distracting us. Dinner in our house is a ritual family time where we can be fully present in each other's company, and I treasure it.
Really, food is symbolic of nurture. What do you put into yourself as fuel? How does it sustain you? When we sit together at the table, we give each other attention, which nurtures us. We listen to each other's stories about the day. Esme tells Jacob what she did at daycare, and Jacob shares funny stories from work. Esme is learning how to converse, but she's also seeing what mom and dad eat and how we behave at the table.
Alena, our new nanny, commented on how Esme automatically put her napkin in her lap the other day at lunch. We didn't teach her how to do that. She observed us doing it and started doing it herself. She similarly picked up the habit of saying "thank you" (which sounds more like "dit do" coming from her) because we say it to each other and to her so often. Okay, so we've had to work on "please" and really teach her that one, because she wasn't picking it up on her own. But I still maintain that teaching by example is the most effective method.
Another benefit of our family dinners is that Esme is exposed to adult food. For a short while, I kept instant mac and cheese in the house for emergencies only, i.e. when I didn't have time to cook. But I noticed that she started wanting mac and cheese all the time and became less adventurous with other foods at the dinner table. It was like kiddy-crack. Once they have it, they're hooked and they don't want other foods.
Then I started looking more closely at labels, and I realized that even the children's food I had previously thought was healthy, like Yo Baby yogurt, isn't that good for them. Yo Baby, for example, is loaded with sugar. So now she eats what we eat. At least most of the time.
Esme has long given the salad on the dinner table a wary glance. She started saying "I don't like salad" over six months ago, but recently she took notice of the salad forks. They were cool. You get to hold these two huge wooden utensils to scoop the green, leafy stuff out of the big bowl and onto the plate. She decided she liked salad after all, and now she almost always eats a few bites of it at the table. One of the things I'm most proud of is that Esme will at least try almost anything. She may not like it. She may even spit it out on her plate (a violation of manners, but hey, we've all felt like doing it from time to time). But at least she tries it.
So we may be a little June and Ward Cleaver at the dinner table. There are worse things to be.
When we sit down to dinner, we don't answer the telephone. We don't watch TV. Maybe we play a little Talking Heads or Jane's Addiction on the stereo, but that only adds to the atmosphere rather than distracting us. Dinner in our house is a ritual family time where we can be fully present in each other's company, and I treasure it.
Really, food is symbolic of nurture. What do you put into yourself as fuel? How does it sustain you? When we sit together at the table, we give each other attention, which nurtures us. We listen to each other's stories about the day. Esme tells Jacob what she did at daycare, and Jacob shares funny stories from work. Esme is learning how to converse, but she's also seeing what mom and dad eat and how we behave at the table.
Alena, our new nanny, commented on how Esme automatically put her napkin in her lap the other day at lunch. We didn't teach her how to do that. She observed us doing it and started doing it herself. She similarly picked up the habit of saying "thank you" (which sounds more like "dit do" coming from her) because we say it to each other and to her so often. Okay, so we've had to work on "please" and really teach her that one, because she wasn't picking it up on her own. But I still maintain that teaching by example is the most effective method.
Another benefit of our family dinners is that Esme is exposed to adult food. For a short while, I kept instant mac and cheese in the house for emergencies only, i.e. when I didn't have time to cook. But I noticed that she started wanting mac and cheese all the time and became less adventurous with other foods at the dinner table. It was like kiddy-crack. Once they have it, they're hooked and they don't want other foods.
Then I started looking more closely at labels, and I realized that even the children's food I had previously thought was healthy, like Yo Baby yogurt, isn't that good for them. Yo Baby, for example, is loaded with sugar. So now she eats what we eat. At least most of the time.
Esme has long given the salad on the dinner table a wary glance. She started saying "I don't like salad" over six months ago, but recently she took notice of the salad forks. They were cool. You get to hold these two huge wooden utensils to scoop the green, leafy stuff out of the big bowl and onto the plate. She decided she liked salad after all, and now she almost always eats a few bites of it at the table. One of the things I'm most proud of is that Esme will at least try almost anything. She may not like it. She may even spit it out on her plate (a violation of manners, but hey, we've all felt like doing it from time to time). But at least she tries it.
So we may be a little June and Ward Cleaver at the dinner table. There are worse things to be.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
The Potty Training Mantra
Esme will not be in diapers at age 10. Esme will not be in diapers at age 10. This is my mantra these days, because as slow going as the potty training stage is, I have to remind myself that it will not last forever.
Truth is, we've made progress lately. She's put an Elmo sticker on the special "potty calendar" everyday. Problem is that she thinks once a day is all she has to go. Ask her if she wants to go a second time, and you get the, "I do it tomorrow" statement in a matter of fact voice. That is if she doesn't say, "I already went potty."
We tried to up the ante by baking a special potty cake as Dr. Phil suggests to celebrate her efforts and telling her she only gets to eat a piece after she uses the potty. She even has the doll that goes potty, and we lavish praise on the doll to show Esme how good it is to go potty. But still she draws the line at once a day.
We have a special potty training book that she loves and only gets to read when sitting on the potty. And following the advice of another mom I know, we let Esme run around naked for days at a time, to help her learn to use her potty, but that just caused her to throw a fit for her diaper when she had to go. "I need to put on a diaper now, please!"
In short, I feel like I've tried all the things they recommend in books.
So we're taking a page from our friend Chandra and her daughter Chase's method: Jelly Bellies. I'm going to introduce them tonight as special potty treats. Wish us luck! And repeat after me: Esme will not be in diapers at age 10. Esme will not be in diapers at age 10.
Truth is, we've made progress lately. She's put an Elmo sticker on the special "potty calendar" everyday. Problem is that she thinks once a day is all she has to go. Ask her if she wants to go a second time, and you get the, "I do it tomorrow" statement in a matter of fact voice. That is if she doesn't say, "I already went potty."
We tried to up the ante by baking a special potty cake as Dr. Phil suggests to celebrate her efforts and telling her she only gets to eat a piece after she uses the potty. She even has the doll that goes potty, and we lavish praise on the doll to show Esme how good it is to go potty. But still she draws the line at once a day.
We have a special potty training book that she loves and only gets to read when sitting on the potty. And following the advice of another mom I know, we let Esme run around naked for days at a time, to help her learn to use her potty, but that just caused her to throw a fit for her diaper when she had to go. "I need to put on a diaper now, please!"
In short, I feel like I've tried all the things they recommend in books.
So we're taking a page from our friend Chandra and her daughter Chase's method: Jelly Bellies. I'm going to introduce them tonight as special potty treats. Wish us luck! And repeat after me: Esme will not be in diapers at age 10. Esme will not be in diapers at age 10.
Friday, February 2, 2007
Our Favorite Children's Books
Continuing yesterday's theme of books, I thought I'd share some of our favorite books here. It drives me crazy getting all of these children's books that are poorly written and having to read them over and over. So here are some books that I find it a pleasure to read time and again with Esme, and that she enjoys just as much.
- In the Night Kitchen, by Maurice Sendak.
Okay, so pretty much any book by Sendak is great. But Esme wants to read this one at least twice a day, and she gets so excited, telling me what's going on in the book: "Look, Mommy, Mickey's in the batter!"
- The Wedding Procession of the Rag Doll and the Broom Handle and Who Was in It, by Carl Sandburg.
Yes, the title is a mouthfull. But it's by Carl Sandburg! Finally, a real writer! It has delightful images (the spoonlickers were my favorites as a child, and they've proven to be Esme's favorites, too), written in a lilting voice. I just don't get tired of it.
-Jamberry, by Bruce Degan.
A fun tale about a boy and a bear hunting berries together. It has so much that feeds a child's imagination, and is written beautifully. I have to thank our niece Anna, who loved this book, for introducing it to us. It's been one of Esme's favorites since she was just learning to talk.
- A Day at the Market, by Sara Anderson.
Jacob's sister gave us this book for Hannekuh, and it has been a blast to read. It's a poetic, colorful tour of Pike Place Market in Seattle, and does an incredible job of capturing the energy of a busy market place. It's fun to read and has me itching to go visit this market in Seattle. Esme likes to read it two or three times in a row, and given that it's a pretty long book, that's saying something!
-The Lorax, by Dr. Seuss
I almost didn't include this because I figured everyone has to know about the Lorax already, but my babysitter Heidi, who has raised two of her own children, had never heard of it. It is a child's first environmental awakening, and I think it is Dr. Seuss's finest work. It's a little long for a toddler, but Esme sits through the whole thing mesmorized because the story is that good.
- Green Eggs and Ham, by Dr. Seuss
Yes, I could list every Dr. Seuss book here. But this one is another gem for us. I do get a little tired of the repetition, but toddler's thrive on it. And it's worth it to hear Esme yell out "Yes he does!" everytime I read, "I do not like green eggs and ham."
What are your favorite children's books?
- In the Night Kitchen, by Maurice Sendak.
Okay, so pretty much any book by Sendak is great. But Esme wants to read this one at least twice a day, and she gets so excited, telling me what's going on in the book: "Look, Mommy, Mickey's in the batter!"
- The Wedding Procession of the Rag Doll and the Broom Handle and Who Was in It, by Carl Sandburg.
Yes, the title is a mouthfull. But it's by Carl Sandburg! Finally, a real writer! It has delightful images (the spoonlickers were my favorites as a child, and they've proven to be Esme's favorites, too), written in a lilting voice. I just don't get tired of it.
-Jamberry, by Bruce Degan.
A fun tale about a boy and a bear hunting berries together. It has so much that feeds a child's imagination, and is written beautifully. I have to thank our niece Anna, who loved this book, for introducing it to us. It's been one of Esme's favorites since she was just learning to talk.
- A Day at the Market, by Sara Anderson.
Jacob's sister gave us this book for Hannekuh, and it has been a blast to read. It's a poetic, colorful tour of Pike Place Market in Seattle, and does an incredible job of capturing the energy of a busy market place. It's fun to read and has me itching to go visit this market in Seattle. Esme likes to read it two or three times in a row, and given that it's a pretty long book, that's saying something!
-The Lorax, by Dr. Seuss
I almost didn't include this because I figured everyone has to know about the Lorax already, but my babysitter Heidi, who has raised two of her own children, had never heard of it. It is a child's first environmental awakening, and I think it is Dr. Seuss's finest work. It's a little long for a toddler, but Esme sits through the whole thing mesmorized because the story is that good.
- Green Eggs and Ham, by Dr. Seuss
Yes, I could list every Dr. Seuss book here. But this one is another gem for us. I do get a little tired of the repetition, but toddler's thrive on it. And it's worth it to hear Esme yell out "Yes he does!" everytime I read, "I do not like green eggs and ham."
What are your favorite children's books?
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Anthropomorphism
Esme watched Wind in the Willows last night, and she was enthralled by the characters - that flamboyent and selfish Toad, wise old Mr. Badger, witty Rat, and homely Mole.
I know from experience shopping around a children's book I wrote a few years back that agents and editors don't like to see anthropomorphism in new stories, but I can't figure out for the life of me why not. Okay, so there is something cheesy about it, but the kids love it. And while it may not be accurate to imply that animals have feelings just like humans, it is important that children understand that animals do have feelings. And the differences between animals's personalities can sometimes help illuminate different human personalities (as in the Wind in the Willows).
So I say bring it on. We'll read Wind in the Willows, and when Esme gets old enough, she'll read Watership Down, which isn't just beautiful for kids but is an amazing book for adults too. Considering all the crap I see in the children's section of bookstores these days (let's just say Disney and other TV brands should stick to video), maybe these editors and agents need to rethink what they're looking for.
I know from experience shopping around a children's book I wrote a few years back that agents and editors don't like to see anthropomorphism in new stories, but I can't figure out for the life of me why not. Okay, so there is something cheesy about it, but the kids love it. And while it may not be accurate to imply that animals have feelings just like humans, it is important that children understand that animals do have feelings. And the differences between animals's personalities can sometimes help illuminate different human personalities (as in the Wind in the Willows).
So I say bring it on. We'll read Wind in the Willows, and when Esme gets old enough, she'll read Watership Down, which isn't just beautiful for kids but is an amazing book for adults too. Considering all the crap I see in the children's section of bookstores these days (let's just say Disney and other TV brands should stick to video), maybe these editors and agents need to rethink what they're looking for.
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