When we got pregnant with Emil, we had a quandary. We live in two bedroom, one bathroom house. Where would we put the new baby? I reasoned that children around the world have shared bedrooms forever. I myself shared a room with my brother until we were about 10. But as we shared the big news with friends, neighbors and family, everyone wanted to know when we were going to move into a bigger house. After all, we live in the age of the McMansion, where every child must have his own bedroom and his own bathroom, in addition to a shared play room/media room.
We decided for the meantime, at least, that the children would be fine sharing a bedroom. We were both nervous about how the kids would sleep, whether they would wake each other up or not. We also worried that Esme might have trouble making the mental transition from "Esme's room" to "the kids' room." We needn't have worried.
I have found that the children don't disturb each others' sleep, even if they're trying to. Yesterday afternoon, when Emil had woken from his nap while his big sister was still off in dreamland, I heard this furtive grunting coming from the bedroom. "Nuh, nuh, nuh." It's hard to translate, but if he were speaking English, he would have been saying, "Hey! Wake up!" I walked into the room to find Emil standing in his crib staring intently at Esme while he was grunting. He smiled when he saw me, and was happy to be scooped up and whisked away. Esme slept for another hour without a problem.
Esme has also managed to fall asleep while Emil cried in his crib, protesting his own bedtime. She doesn't wake up when he cries in the middle of the night either. And perhaps the best sign of successful room-sharing came yesterday, when Esme precociously referred to the room as "the children's room" for the first time (it was still Esme's room in her mind a week ago).
As I flipped through the pages of the latest Parents magazine, I found an article on just this subject. The writer says that despite the trend for children to have their own rooms in America, experts say that it is healthier for siblings to share rooms. Among the benefits listed were learning how to cooperate and building stronger bonds. Whether it is the living situation or their natural personalities, I have to admit that my kids love each other dearly. Of course they have their moments of jealousy and sometimes they fight over toys, but in general, they really enjoy each other's company.
Will they be able to share a room forever? No, probably not. But for now, this is definitely working.
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How ironic. Today I spent the day re-configuring Imogen's room to squeeze a crib into. Atticus is growing out of his moses basket, and I am becoming keen to have my bedroom back. Plus, she has been asking when he will move into her room. "Why do I have to sleep by myself?" was her pitiful cry. And I can see her point when the rest of us are in a room together.
A recent visit to friends made an impact, on her. The two boys (5 and 8) had chosen to share a room, leaving an empy bedroom. Another sibling pair (boy 3 and girl 7) told us how the little brother gets in bed with his sister in the morning to read together until mummy and daddy wake up. Now that I'm jealous of- I just wish they could bring me a cup of tea in bed, too! All this made Imogen realise that she and her brother will have a special closeness as they grow up, something she is eager to develop. Reading the Shirley Hughes books as regularly as we do allows her to see Alfie sleep as Annie Rose sings in her crib.
Our house, too, is tiny. But I'm not leaving this village for a bigger house and you're right that sharing a room teaches so many lessons that go so much further in life. I loved sharing bedrooms with siblings, and hope my children will have as much fun with it as we did.
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