Mirror, Mirror, in the Child

Jacob was out of town, so it was up to Esme to comfort me as I battled a nasty case of food poisoning (I don't know why I bother to eat meat anymore - my stomach is too sensitive!). Esme patted me on the back as I threw up into the toilet bowl. "It's okay, Momma. You're going to be just fine." And it was genuinely comforting, even though it was odd to experience this little role reversal.

It struck me that she was doing exactly what I have done for her when she was sick, and her sweetness was touching. I'm not sure whether she was actually empathizing with me, or if she was merely mimicking my behavior. But I have noticed that she has a lot of endearing behaviors that are clearly copies of what she sees me and Jacob do, and that makes me feel pretty good. She likes to comfort people and dolls, and often plays pretend at taking care of her little dolls, which tells me that she is growing up in a sufficiently comforting home. She watches us and thinks, "Oh, people take care of each other. I can do that, too!" If only we can sustain that through adolescence and beyond the immediate family, I will feel like an extremely successful parent. Of course, I recognize that it is partly personality, too. There are some little girls that want nothing to do with dolls, and it doesn't mean they don't have loving parents. But I'm sure they find other ways to mimic they're parents' behavior.

Okay, so there are those moments that are frustrating or just plain funny when Esme mimics not-so-pleasant behavior. It took me the longest time to figure out that this weird little sideways glare she gives was actually a copy of my Stern Look, which is quickly administered whenever I don't approve of a certain behavior. And then she has mastered the Command Voice, that is mostly used for the dog, but occasionally gets used with the children, too. But parents aren't perfect. As Esme reminded me the other day when I spilled a drink, "It's okay mommy, I sometimes spill things, too."