Imaginary Friends

Yesterday, Esme started looking up to the top of the redwood trees and yelling, "Hey guys, what you doing up there?" I asked her who she was talking to, and she answered, "My friends." Where are they, I wanted to know. "Up there, Mommy," she gestured as if pointing out the most obvious thing in the world. "On top of the trees!"

It wasn't the first time I've encountered her friends. She talks to them all the time, assuming an authoritative voice that she seldom gets to use with Mom or Dad. I've asked her about her friends before, and she tells me that they are adult women. She gives varying answers on how many there are, but she assures me that they are not children and she refuses to tell me whether they have names. That's fine with me, though. It's her world and they are her friends, and when she's talking to them she doesn't like me to pry.

Why do kids have imaginary friends, and is it a healthy phenomena? An old article in Slate says that current thinking has cast a kinder light on pretend friends than Dr. Spock used to. I recall my mom telling me about the day her own mother took her to to the train station so that they could see her imaginary friend off to some other place. Nanny had gotten tired of being told she couldn't sit in that seat b/c the pretend friend was there. Apparently, the train ride worked. The friend was gone for good.

Since Esme's friends don't seem interested in my chairs (they were last seen on top of the guest house roof), I don't mind having them around. I think that they are a good sign of a healthy imagination, and that they help Esme role play to learn about social dynamics. But I can tell you this - I sure am glad that Emil was born. If we had decided to only have one child, I fear I would interpret Esme's imaginary friends as loneliness and longing for a sibling. Now I know it's just Esme, learning about the world around her.