This is a hard entry to write, but I've got to do it. I'm taking a break from the blog for a while. We're down to almost no childcare now, and being Mommy is such a full time job that I can't seem to squeeze anything else in: no trips to the gym, no writing, no anything but dancing and singing and doing puzzles and artwork and going on hikes and changing diapers and cooking and cleaning. In short, all those domestic, family things that make me feel like I've been shuttled unawares back in time to the 1950s.
It's not bad. Especially the playing part. The cleaning part I could do without, but every job has its dirty work. So until later, I'm signing off. If we manage to find a part-time nanny, then perhaps I'll pick it up again. So wish me luck.
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Hey there, Aeron. Well, I'm sorry you're taking a break from the blog but I can understand why. Parenting two young children is hugely challenging (my mother-in-law calls it 'the toughest job you'll ever love') especially as it involves slowing down to their pace. When I used to walk briskly for exercise, now we walk at Imogen's pace (dawdling, meandering and lollygagging as if we had all the time in the world). Cooking dinner takes all afternoon, because we play shopkeepers in the pantry and then chop things like chefs together. If I want to hang the laundry out, it takes twice the time because she want to help with the pegging, and Atticus wants to flap the already pegged-up things. But the alternative is not to do these things together, and I believe strongly that both our children are learning to love the everyday parts of life (not just the world travelling) because of having a parent who shares the homemaking with them.
As for the Eisenhower years thing, I couldn't agree more. Somehow I'm doing all the domestic chores that I worked hard to share equally out in the early part of marriage. I know it is part of my job now, and don't quibble at all, but it does seem ironic to now be a hausfrau after decades of feminism. Reconciling that aparent conflict is challenging, but I was reminded recently that feminism is about choice not obligation. I was lucky enough to be offered a jobshare at my Waldorf school in Sebastopol after Imogen was born. But in the end I couldn't give my baby to someone else whilst I went to teach other people's children. For us, it was important enough to have me at home full time, that we left the Bay Area to do it. (Surviving financially as a young family on one teacher's salary was impossible there, especially with annual layoffs). We will be back there one day, just as I will be back in my career again. I'm sure that then I will look back on the repetitive minutiai of this current stage with a rosy glow. There is much to treasure about these early childhood days, like today - we picnicked by the dabbling ducks in the autumn sunlight, and the red arrows flew loop-da-loops overhead. Then we came home to carve pumpkins and make the rest of Immi's halloween costume. The house needs a tidy and the vac pushing round, but we are happy and balanced. I need more time for me, but when I compare that to the alternatives, I know that my life right now is a gift. I just have to see it from the perspective of one chapter in a life richly lived, not the day-to-day triviality of a life of household drudgery. Of course I veer towards one extreme or another at times, but I hope you enjoy your break from trying to do too much and enjoy focussing more on the home life and needs. I will miss your thought-provokins wisdom and insight, and look forwards to your return. Perhaps signing off for a while will help you to return refreshed, I hope so. Do keep in touch,
Your friend from afar,
emily
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