Taking a break from the blog

This is a hard entry to write, but I've got to do it. I'm taking a break from the blog for a while. We're down to almost no childcare now, and being Mommy is such a full time job that I can't seem to squeeze anything else in: no trips to the gym, no writing, no anything but dancing and singing and doing puzzles and artwork and going on hikes and changing diapers and cooking and cleaning. In short, all those domestic, family things that make me feel like I've been shuttled unawares back in time to the 1950s.

It's not bad. Especially the playing part. The cleaning part I could do without, but every job has its dirty work. So until later, I'm signing off. If we manage to find a part-time nanny, then perhaps I'll pick it up again. So wish me luck.

To sleep, perchance to dream . . .

After a brutal first 5 days trying to teach Atticus to settle himself to sleep, I can report a little light at the end of the tunnel. He has a wonderful, long bedtime routine and now usually drops off to sleep without crying. We still have night-feeds to contend with, and I'm trying to work out where I stand on that one, but in general he is sleeping solidly from 7pm-1am. The witching hour comes around 4am when he really wants to get up and at the world. In the early days I would just tuck him in bed next to me and nurse him until I was ready to get up. Now, if I try that, he nurses and then gets up to play- thinking he's just had breakfast. So, we need to find a common ground there but, for now at least, there is a little sleep happening in our house.

Toy recall continues

As I predicted in an earlier post, the toy recalls continue. And you can be sure that they will never discover all the lead-painted toys that have been sold to children. Just another reason to either by from local artisans, or to develop creative toys on your own for your children. My kids can spend weeks playing with a cardboard box.

Imaginary Friends

Yesterday, Esme started looking up to the top of the redwood trees and yelling, "Hey guys, what you doing up there?" I asked her who she was talking to, and she answered, "My friends." Where are they, I wanted to know. "Up there, Mommy," she gestured as if pointing out the most obvious thing in the world. "On top of the trees!"

It wasn't the first time I've encountered her friends. She talks to them all the time, assuming an authoritative voice that she seldom gets to use with Mom or Dad. I've asked her about her friends before, and she tells me that they are adult women. She gives varying answers on how many there are, but she assures me that they are not children and she refuses to tell me whether they have names. That's fine with me, though. It's her world and they are her friends, and when she's talking to them she doesn't like me to pry.

Why do kids have imaginary friends, and is it a healthy phenomena? An old article in Slate says that current thinking has cast a kinder light on pretend friends than Dr. Spock used to. I recall my mom telling me about the day her own mother took her to to the train station so that they could see her imaginary friend off to some other place. Nanny had gotten tired of being told she couldn't sit in that seat b/c the pretend friend was there. Apparently, the train ride worked. The friend was gone for good.

Since Esme's friends don't seem interested in my chairs (they were last seen on top of the guest house roof), I don't mind having them around. I think that they are a good sign of a healthy imagination, and that they help Esme role play to learn about social dynamics. But I can tell you this - I sure am glad that Emil was born. If we had decided to only have one child, I fear I would interpret Esme's imaginary friends as loneliness and longing for a sibling. Now I know it's just Esme, learning about the world around her.

Letter to Southwest

Here's the text of my letter to Southwest Airlines, in case anyone would like to borrow the language:

September 21, 2007

Mr. Gary Kelly
Chief Executive Officer
Southwest Airlines
P.O. Box 36647 - 1CR
Dallas, Texas 75235-1647


Dear Mr. Kelly,

I was disturbed to read that you were discontinuing the policy to allow families with young children to board first. Your comment that it wasn’t fair shows how little you must have traveled with young children. That is similar to saying it’s not fair for someone to have to offer a seat to an elderly person on the subway. Traveling with very young children is simply more difficult than traveling with adults, which is why this policy was instituted in the first place and is respected by almost every major airline.

As flying has become more uncomfortable in almost every way over the past several years, this is a measure that will make it significantly worse for families to travel. I can tell you that this change in policy will affect my choice in airlines.

I urge you to reconsider the proposed change.

Sincerely,


Aeron Noe

Avoid Southwest!!!!

Southwest Airlines is ending its practice of allowing families with young children to board first (a practice that is almost universally observed across airlines). From an article in the SF Chronicle: "Kelly (Southwest's CEO) said Southwest will cease preboarding families with children under 4, effective Oct. 2. He said he did not think it was fair for those passengers to automatically board first."

Not fair? Okay, so let's risk separating a mother from her infant. That sounds fair, doesn't it? What's wrong with people when they fail to recognize that there are simple signs of respect in society. You offer your seat on a crowded subway to an elderly person or someone with a small child. You let people with small children board the plane first. I have a strong feeling that Good Ole Mr. Kelly doesn't hold doors open for people, either. He's certainly no gentleman making this change to their policy.

Unfortunately, I have a flight scheduled on Southwest Airlines in just a few weeks! But after that, I think I will avoid the airline. Traveling with children is more difficult than traveling without children. I don't need to fly airlines that make it even more difficult.

I'm urging everyone to write Southwest to urge them to rethink this change in policy:

Gary Kelly, CEO
Southwest Airlines
P.O. Box 36647 - 1CR
Dallas, Texas 75235-1647

If Southwest gets away with it, what's to stop other airlines from following suit?

Toys toys toys!

There are so many toys out there! And I have to confess that I love toy shopping. We're coming up on both the kids' birthdays, and my brain is starting to sort through all the gift possibilities. Living in a small house means we need to be thoughtful in the toys we keep around. Nothing too big, nothing that can't be easily stored away.

One of the coolest things about having children is getting back some of that childhood excitement. When Esme or Emil get presents, I feel their butterflies. At the same time, there are so many considerations when selecting toys. Emil puts everything in his mouth, so we have to keep all choking-sized toys put away. Then there are the annoying toys that beep and buzz and make electronic noises. Of course, real instruments are fine with me. A kid banging on pots and pans doesn't chip away at my sanity like a bad recording of a bad song on a never-ending 5-second loop does.

But should toys also be educational? And what does educational mean? I think that the best toys for 3 and under offer developmentally appropriate challenges for their fine and gross motor skills, adding other concepts like shapes and colors as they go. A classic wooden shape sorter is a favorite in our house. Puzzles are also extremely popular. But then there are the "pretend" toys, which are great, too. What we try to avoid are toys that come "packaged" with a story already. So characters from TV, for example, have a history that comes with the branded toy. This limits the child's imagination, so I try to avoid Disney-style toys.

Of course, it has come out recently that many of these toys may be health hazards for our children, too. Most of the mass-produced, Chinese-manufactured toys that have been recalled due to lead paint concerns are these big brand, plastic toys. If you have toys like this in your house, you might want to test them yourself for lead, since you can almost guarantee that they won't discover/recall all the toys that have lead. The recall is just the tip of the iceberg - it's more likely that there is systematic use of lead in Chinese-made toys. There is a company called LeadCheck that provides simple swabs for surfaces, costing $18.45 for an 8-swab test kit.

This means that there is more reason than ever to choose more simple, artful toys that are not branded and mass-produced in China, but rather are handcrafted from organic materials. Some of my favorite stores are online, including Hearthsong and Oompa. Emily also keyed me in to Nova.

All this typing about toys has gotten me excited. I'm going to do some surfing now to decide what little gifts Esme and Emil are going to get to mark a new year of life!